Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
I don't think my family reads this. If they do, they've never given any indication. So I'm gonna take this opportunity to offend any of them I want to. WARNING: Dirty Laundry is about to be aired. A few of my friends know that my Father is a DIRTBAG. Stinking, Nasty, Reject-of-Humanity DIRTBAG. This weekend a brother got married, my Father was invited, so I did not go.
To my brothers: C'mon guys! Do you really think money equals love? Or gifts equal a sincere apology? He is trying to buy your forgiveness! He is a DIRTBAG. Call me, I have a letter from him that explains how his abuse was really our Mothers fault and he just did it to get a divorce. DIRTBAG.
It crossed my mind to go to my brothers reception. After all, it was going to be at Mother's house and she had promised a Father-free Zone from now until the end-of-time for the abused parties. I just had to avoid the wedding... and the rehearsal dinner... and any other public place he might turn up at. My Mother would be providing some safe space... wait, he was where? Yeah, at the house. Apparently all the safe space anyone should need is the four feet around themselves. Somehow it was determined that as long as my Father didn't walk right up to anyone he could come to all the events, mingle, be around everyone's children, AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T START A CONVERSATION WITH YOU, YOU SHOULD BE OKAY WITH THIS DIRTBAG SKIPPING AROUND LIKE A MAGICAL-GIFT-FAIRY HANDING OUT CASH AND PRESENTS LIKE GRANDMA GIVES OUT HUGS! -deep breath- -again-
Though I have to say, I'd rather have a gift than a hug... affectionate physical contact with a pedophile would really freak me out.
To my brothers: C'mon guys! Do you really think money equals love? Or gifts equal a sincere apology? He is trying to buy your forgiveness! He is a DIRTBAG. Call me, I have a letter from him that explains how his abuse was really our Mothers fault and he just did it to get a divorce. DIRTBAG.
It crossed my mind to go to my brothers reception. After all, it was going to be at Mother's house and she had promised a Father-free Zone from now until the end-of-time for the abused parties. I just had to avoid the wedding... and the rehearsal dinner... and any other public place he might turn up at. My Mother would be providing some safe space... wait, he was where? Yeah, at the house. Apparently all the safe space anyone should need is the four feet around themselves. Somehow it was determined that as long as my Father didn't walk right up to anyone he could come to all the events, mingle, be around everyone's children, AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T START A CONVERSATION WITH YOU, YOU SHOULD BE OKAY WITH THIS DIRTBAG SKIPPING AROUND LIKE A MAGICAL-GIFT-FAIRY HANDING OUT CASH AND PRESENTS LIKE GRANDMA GIVES OUT HUGS! -deep breath- -again-
Though I have to say, I'd rather have a gift than a hug... affectionate physical contact with a pedophile would really freak me out.
posted by Wolfman at 2:24 PM
4 Comments:
he actually wrote a letter rationalizing abuse? geeze, what an ass. how can anyone with first-hand knowledge of this idiot's activities feel safe with this guy in the same house?
it is awful that he was trying to rationalize it all...totally agree with Chris.
C
Hey R, it’s your cuz (I know you know which one :). I found your blog when I searched Technorati for ones that linked to mine. If for any reason you don’t feel comfortable about me reading, let me know.
I remember way back when I first heard about it all, I was so affected (emotionally at least); I don’t blame you in the slightest.
Once I was in Sunday school class with Orson Scott Card (didn’t know it was him at the time; totally kicking myself for not going up and talking to him afterwards like I intended to, but that’s another story) where the topic was forgiveness. The conversation was rather banal (“forgive your spouse for leaving the cap off the toothpaste!”) until he brought up some real examples, like abuse for instance. And basically, the idea that there’s a difference between forgiveness and trust. If someone doesn’t show true repentance, then we are not required to trust them, especially in suspect situations, especially where we’re called on to protect others. Forgive, yes; trust, no. It’s such a hard call to make, and put into practice.
All the best, to you and family.
Glad to know you're here. :-)
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